Not everyone is going to have your best interests in mind. Many will simply look at you as a means to an end and fall back on how you’re giving “excuses” when you’re incapable of meeting perceived expectations. However, you are not responsible for the imposed expectations of others.
Especially when you’ve been honest and upfront that you don’t have the time to take on another project.
But what happens when you try your best to make that time to help someone and then experience one of the worst months of your life? This is in addition to the never-ending stress that you put yourself through while pushing to extremes.
When you literally have little time for yourself to relax and enjoy the easy things in life.
As your welfare and career should be a priority, sometimes you just cannot help people in the way you’d like. Well, not without sacrificing your own projects and career.
Perhaps even a bit of your own mental health and happiness.
Some will understand, although they may be quite disappointed. Especially when you’ve made it abundantly clear just how busy you are at any given time.
Others will proceed to complain on social media and spend the next 30 minutes berating the things you’re trying to build. Or, perhaps attacking in a way that triggers the most prominent elements of your impostor syndrome to the point you feel like giving up.
Situations like this only solidify my statement, “You can’t please 100% of the people 100% of the time.”
What makes it especially painful is when it’s from someone whom you cared for quite a bit more than you probably should have.
Never Give Up, Never Surrender!
If you truly want to accomplish certain goals, giving up is never the answer. Especially when you face temporary problems.
There’s a way out of every box; every puzzle has a solution.
It’s not selfish to focus on your career and your happiness. Because if you’re unstable and miserable, you’re not going to help anyone in a productive manner. You have to come first if you want the endurance and fortitude to help others.
Sometimes this means cutting out those who are not conducive to your life plans. It’s hard to do, trust me, I know. But your happiness shouldn’t take a backseat in the grand scheme of things.
The idea of giving up, though, should never be part of the equation. When you come across setbacks, you need to figure out why and move on.
That’s what a lot of perceived “failures” are, actually; temporary setbacks that are easily addressed. That is as long as you look for the solutions.
Caring Too Much About Perceptions from Others
Perhaps one of the biggest problems a lot of people have nowadays is caring too much about what others think. Especially when it comes to social media.
Sometimes a slighted comment can trigger all kinds of things to run through your mind. You’ll wind up dwelling on those comments while starting to believe the more negative side of yourself.
Even if there is no basis in reality for the comment in question.
It’s when you start dwelling on those negative perceptions that detract from any success you’re trying to build for yourself. And if you suffer from any one of a myriad of mental disorders, it can become crippling.
At some point, you need to just stop caring.
The thing about social media is that it allows people to say anything without lasting repercussions. Well, as long as you’re within the boundaries of the social site’s policies.
Nonetheless, this lack of a filter gives people the chance to berate, demean, and troll others quite easily. But you need to keep in mind that the odds of you actually meeting these people in person are slim to none.
Who cares what someone several states away has to say about you? Sure, you want a good reputation if you’re trying to build up a brand. But that doesn’t mean you need to placate to the vocal minority or bend over backward to please others.
It all comes down to your target audience and pleasing the people you’re trying to reach in general. If someone doesn’t like the videos or blog posts you create, then they weren’t your target audience.
Staying True to Who You Are
As a creator, you’ll come across all kinds of people who think you should create this or publish that. I’ve come across quite a few over the years of managing the YouTube channels.
But staying true to who you are and what you create is what keeps your avid fans watching and reading.
Don’t get me wrong, you should still do what you can to expand your reach and engage more people. But not at the cost of changing who you are or what you put out there.
Case in point, I know one person who hits the dislike button on a live stream because I talked too much about blogging, WordPress, or freelance writing. This person wanted more content centered around being an “author.”
Well, WriterSanctuary was founded on freelance writing and blogging. I currently cover all topics that involve writing in any form, hence the name, WriterSanctuary.
Yes, I’ll eventually put out more content centered around self-publishing, story development, characters, and what-not. But, when asked a series of freelancing questions during a live stream, I’m going to answer.
My point is that you shouldn’t change who you are because someone wants you to. Unless you’re doing something harmful to yourself or others, you do you.
Cutting Your Losses Isn’t a Failure
What it boils down to is that cutting your losses isn’t a failure. And you don’t have to completely cut out negative people from your life. Simply reducing their influence could be enough to get you back on track.
As I always say, a “failing” is simply a life lesson, nothing more. Take what you learn from the experience and grow as a person and as a creator.
Just make sure you learn something from the experience. Otherwise, you could put yourself in yet another negative situation. For my spreadsheet users out there, don’t get yourself stuck in a circular argument.
Sometimes people just don’t mesh well, and that’s fine. There’s no need to stir up animosity and drama because things didn’t go your way. Just learn from the experience and move on.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to get stuck into the mindset of feeling like a failure when you do have to cut your losses. Especially if you dwell on the amount of time you put into any particular situation.
Do What’s Best for YOUR Situation
In the end, you still need to do what is best for you. And sometimes that means taking the hit, dusting yourself off, and refocusing your efforts on what you want to accomplish.
Overall, it all comes down to your perceptions of yourself and whether you feel you’re doing the best you can. It also helps to recognize faults in your own behaviors and development in order to truly grow into the person you want to be.
Your opinion of yourself is the only one that truly matters.