Sometimes the Best Lessons are the Most Painful to Learn

I believe that nothing is truly a failure as long as you learn from the experience. Then, it merely becomes part of life’s lessons that you learn to help you in future situations. However, sometimes these circumstances can be excruciatingly difficult.

And depending on the situation, you could feel like a complete and utter ass for days after the fact. Especially if you’re like me and beat yourself up for extended periods of time.

It’s Important to Really Learn those Lessons

Only a masochist goes out of his or her way to put themselves through immense pain. If you’re not willing to learn anything from past experiences, you’re no better off.

In fact, it’s one of the reasons why history is taught in school. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

I don’t remember who said this first, but it rings true in just about every situation in your life. When you ignore the lessons that can be taught by something in your past, it often comes back to haunt you.

This is true whether you’re trying to write a book, create a YouTube channel, or finding yourself totally enamored by someone.

By not learning from your past, you can inadvertently create similar situations that cause you to fail yet again. The end result is the feeling of Deja Vu and possibly hating yourself for the next month or two.

In the worst-case scenario, you may even lose any chance you may have had at succeeding at the particular circumstance.

Self-Doubt and a Lack of Confidence Make it Worse

For someone who constantly battles self-doubt, some lessons are vastly difficult to learn. Mostly because you’re either unsure you’re taking the right paths or have little confidence in your decisions.

In many cases, it could cause you to second-guess what you’re doing. And this can lead to a series of events that just seem to make the situation worse with every step.

Unfortunately, self-doubt and a lack of confidence aren’t things that can be cured overnight. It can take weeks, months, or even years to feel like a whole person.

Believe me; there are times I wish I could wave a magic wand and instantly cure these misgivings about myself. But life doesn’t work that way.

All I can really do is trudge through these lessons and cross my fingers that I learn from them.

It’s funny how you can have a great deal of confidence in one aspect of your life, but absolutely none in another.

A Lack of Proper Rest Can Amplify the Problem

Getting enough sleep can do wonders for your mind. Everything from processing information to memory is affected by your sleep patterns. And not getting enough of it can make matters more difficult.

In fact, I often make terrible choices when I’m tired, especially after drinking Fireball and wine. Not only am I tired at this point, but the alcohol inhibits most rational thought anyway.

So, it’s kind of like a double whammy.

The next thing you know, you do or say some things that don’t come out quite like you hoped. Then, you scare the shit out of someone and she never wants to talk to you again.

The point is that sometimes it pays to just call it a night and go to sleep. Trying to force yourself to stay awake is only going to allow you more time to dwell on negative elements while making it difficult to keep rational.

Impostor Syndrome Galore

Impostor syndrome kind of goes along with a lack of confidence and a heightened sense of self-doubt. But, I decided to separate it in this case because the feeling of not being good enough or worthy enough is its own ordeal.

I often talk about impostor syndrome as it pertains to writing and freelancing. But the truth of the matter is that it can affect you in a plethora of ways across a spectrum of situations.

For instance, let’s say someone thinks the world of you, thinks you’re hot, and believes you are totally awesome. A couple of things can trigger in the mind of someone not feeling good enough.

You can either: a) second-guess what that someone is saying and not believing he or she is being sincere, or b) try to hold onto that feeling so tightly because you don’t think anyone else can ever feel that way about you.

This can lead to thinking that you’ll never find anyone who could come close to providing what you’re currently getting from that individual.

In some instances, you may even do both at the same time.

Out of all lessons to learn, moving past the feeling of inadequacy is among the more difficult. Mostly because a lot of people won’t put up with your shit while you’re trying to adjust.

You need to learn this one well in advance by understanding that you do have a lot to offer and are worthy of success.

Dwelling on Negative Thoughts that are Unfounded

Lastly, focusing on negative thoughts that have no basis in reality is only going to cause you to fail. For a writer, this is among the more difficult lessons to learn, especially if you have a lot of the other things going on above.

It’s easy to get sucked into a negative mindset when your imagination is tossing out all kinds of fraudulent scenarios.

A writer’s imagination can be the strongest of allies and the most horrific of enemies. But if you learn how to control those thoughts and emotions, things will unfold in a far different manner.

For example, just because she doesn’t call or text you, it doesn’t mean she is purposely ghosting you or out on a date with someone else. In reality, she could have been in a car accident. Then, you’ll wind up feeling like crap because you thought otherwise.

A lot of this has to do with trust in both yourself and the situation. Sure, you may write a book that maybe sells five total copies over the next year. But dwelling on this before you actually publish anything is focusing energy on something that has no basis in fact.

Because you don’t know what the future is going to hold for you. Always in motion, the future is.

What Happens When You Don’t Learn those Lessons?

As I said before, without learning from past experiences, you’re doomed to repeat behaviors and actions. And if you keep denying yourself the education, you’ll just keep yourself in a perpetual state of failure.

No one wants that, to be honest.

You could wind up sacrificing one of the best things that have ever happened to you simply because you lacked faith in yourself. Or, perhaps you simply couldn’t trust the other individual and sabotaged the situation on a subconscious level.

Perhaps you don’t take that leap of faith that has a strong possibility of success because you didn’t feel worthy enough for it.

In any case, a lot of negative things can happen when you refuse to learn from past lessons.

The end result is a life that is unfulfilling, sad, and lonely.

Learn Life’s Lessons and Improve Your Chances

Will you be successful every time when you put what you learned into practice? No. Every situation is unique.

However, keeping the past in mind can help you avoid all kinds of mishaps and ultimate failures. In a nutshell, your history can easily boost the potential for success…as long as you learned something.

Sure, you may feel like the underbelly of dirt today from something you said or did last night. It’s what you do with that information that determines if it will be a failure or not later on.

Focus on self-improvement and do more with the information life hands you. Things may suck right now, but these lessons can lead you to a greater level of success the next time around.

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Michael Brockbank

I've been a freelance writer since January 1, 2012. I've worked with a myriad of clients and currently the Content Marketing Team Lead for GreenGeeks web hosting. My fingers are also in a lot of different industries such as gaming and fitness.

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