A Quarter through 2020, and Nowhere Near My Goal

In 2019, I challenged myself to write one million words in 2020. I wanted to see if I could motivate myself, and others, to be productive. And although I am more productive this year than last, I’m not doing enough to meet my goal. Can I get this train back on track?

I guess that really depends on circumstance and motivation. I haven’t had the smoothest road for the past several months.

While I could blame situations around me, I still feel more that it’s really my own lack of conviction that is preventing progress. I mean, I should be at 250,000+ words by now. Instead, I am just over 90k.

What’s Holding Me Back?

In reality, I do have a lot going on that interferes with hitting my goal. But, I can’t say that it’s 100% my environment. The truth is, I don’t feel that I am doing enough.

Then again, I do suffer from severe impostor syndrome, so that could weigh heavily on how I feel about reaching my goals at this point in time.

Staying in the Hotel

Right now, I am living in a hotel while waiting to close on a house. And while staying in a hotel would normally be an awesome experience, because I love pools and hot tubs, I don’t have amenities because of the current pandemic.

So, instead of an awesome experience, I am sitting in an uncomfortable chair for extended periods of time trying to keep myself afloat.

To top it all off, it’s now snowing quite a bit outside, which cuts my daily walks a bit short. This means I am probably more likely to roll out the yoga mat and perhaps get some exercise in just to break up the day.

You’d think that having all this free time away from the kids and animals that I would get bored enough to simply blog more often.

That’s not always the case when you have a man like me who gets to sit and think, too much, about random things.

Catching Up to My Editing Duties

One reason why I haven’t been able to get more done on my goals is because I am currently playing catch-up for my client. I’ve got a lot of articles to edit before we can publish them.

Luckily, I am ahead on certain articles. However, the tutorials are a bit slow to come out at the moment. Instead of writing, I am editing the work of others.

And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I am paid pretty well for what I do and am quite good. I just need to get to a point where I can write more often.

I’m getting closer, though. So, in the very near future, I won’t have my editing duties as an excuse as to why I can’t write.

Being Easily Distracted

One of my biggest issues, and has been for quite some time, is that I am quite easily distracted. Whether it’s research for content, YouTube or having my friend nearby, my attention shifts quite rapidly.

It’s an ongoing issue that I’m still trying to work through. I wouldn’t necessarily call it ADHD, but sometimes it feels like maybe my lack of attention is clinical.

The thing is once I start work on something, I can usually stay focused on it until I’m done. It’s the “getting started” part with which I often struggle.

Myself

I can put the blame of not reaching my goal on a lot of different environmental things. But in the end, it all comes down to me being the biggest reason why I haven’t done more.

Of course, I’ll always feel that way even if I put in a solid 12 hours of work in any project. That comes with the impostor syndrome.

In other words, I am way too harsh on myself and strive for perfection. I’ve tossed stories and videos in the trash because they didn’t meet my expectations. And I bet a lot of them probably would have done well with the audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for sympathy or pity. In fact, I’m doing a lot better with having faith in my abilities today than I did in the past.

But there are days that I have a bit of self-doubt creep in.

Can I Still Achieve My Goal of 1 Million Words?

Although I am pretty far behind with reaching my goal of one million words in 2020, I still feel confident that it’s possible. After all, I would only have to write 3,458 words per day.

Back in my prime, I would do just over a thousand per hour.

And I would make words my overall daily goal. Unfortunately, a lot of my time is tapped by editing the work of others or planning out YouTube videos…which doesn’t require writing anything at all in most cases.

But If I can get my head in the game, I know I have enough time to rack up the word count. Especially since I’ve been recently working on VII on Wattpad.

I re-wrote the beginning of the final chapter and it’s coming along way better than what it was.

Finding Ways to Motivate Myself

Lately, I’ve had a severe lack of motivation in just about everything. It’s why I don’t upload videos as often and why I haven’t lost more weight.

I just can’t seem to muster up the passion I once had. Which is depressing in itself as it feeds into a vicious circle of not getting things done.

So, what are some things I can do today to help me focus on reaching my goal of one million words?

Keep Focusing on Daily Improvement

I still find gamification to work exceptionally well for certain things in my life. This is where my famous spreadsheets come into play.

For example, I am doing better in 2020 than I did in 2019 based on productivity. This is because I track every second I work on client and personal projects in a spreadsheet.

Even with being homeless, stressed and pushing through a lockdown because of a global pandemic, I’m reaching numbers that I haven’t seen in quite some time.

I just need to focus on what I can do today that is better than what I did yesterday. Which is true whether I am writing or trying to lose weight.

Stop Wallowing in What I Could Have Done

I need to stop dwelling on things I could have done and focus more on what I can do. Part of this is fueled by my constant battle with feeling “too old.”

Sometimes, I’ll get stuck in thinking about how much time I’ve wasted and where I could be today if I was more focused. YouTube, the blogs, my novel, losing weight…what success would I have today if I could keep my mind sharp on what I was doing.

That kind of thinking isn’t good for anyone. Instead, I need to worry more about what I can work on today to reach those levels of success.

Really Talk Myself Into Hitting Daily Goals

Back in the day, I was almost unstoppable. I dropped 20 pounds in just over a month, worked hard to bring in a livable wage from content mills, and earned my place as the Content Marketing Team Lead of GreenGeeks.

So, why can’t I get myself back into that mindset of awesomeness? I’m sure recent events in my life have played a part. But, I should be moving past all of those things by now.

I need to really start talking myself into meeting daily objectives. For instance, today, I want to hit the 3400+ words I mentioned earlier. If I can get the snowball rolling down the hill, I’m sure it would gain momentum.

It would be a start to proving to myself that I can do this.

My Goal is Still Doable

I have no doubt that I can reach my goal of one million words before the end of 2020. My doubt comes from procrastinating to the point of waiting too long to put things into motion. Because time waits for no one.

Before you know, it’s December and you realize you’ve wasted the entire year.

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About:

Michael Brockbank

I've been a freelance writer since January 1, 2012. I've worked with a myriad of clients and currently the Content Marketing Team Lead for GreenGeeks web hosting. My fingers are also in a lot of different industries such as gaming and fitness.

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