I wasn’t able to attend WordCamp St Louis this past weekend as I was participating in the Extra Life gaming event for charity. And after the month I had, it was a welcome diversion. Not only was it a blast, but it helped me start focusing on November.

And given my past track record, anything to help get my head back into “professional mode” is welcome. In this case, it was driven by gameplay.

Extra Life Helps Me More than I Help It

Needless to say, October of 2019 was the worst month of my entire life. I lost my son and a close family member within weeks of each other. And I was driven to a pretty dark place.

It was bad enough that I debated on not going to the Geeks of Grandeur Halloween charity party nor participate in Extra Life.

My depression and anxiety were getting pretty bad. However, pushing through the sadness and getting back into the swing of things helped me out tremendously. And I’m glad I committed to playing this weekend.

I Do What I Can to Help

It’s in my nature to help if at all possible. And although my heart still hurts, I was able to bring a bit of joy to viewers this weekend. Not only that, but we generated a bit of money for Extra Life.

And even if it’s just a few dollars here or rounding up the few cents I made in ad revenue, it makes me feel good to help charities such as this.

I only wish I could do more. But, like everything else I am trying to do, that relies on far more effort than I’ve been putting in this year.

Getting Back Into the Groove of Things

After facing the worst month of my entire life, I need to get back into the swing of things. And as difficult as it is knowing that one of my children is lost to me, I absolutely need to push through.

And I know I keep saying this, especially on WriterSanctuary.com, I can get so much more done if I stick to my schedule.

The bad thing is that I was starting to make a difference until things went south last month. I need to get back into a good groove with all my projects.

In today’s world, it’s all about developing an audience and being consistent. Unfortunately, consistency to work on my own projects is something I’ve lacked severely in the past.

If I want to get anywhere with what I’m doing, I need to put in the effort. Otherwise, I’ll sit here and spin my tires indefinitely.

And that’s no good for anyone, least of all myself.

Doing More with What I Have

The projects I am involved with online have great potential. I have everything I need to make some amazing content, whether it’s in a blog post or on YouTube. What I lack recently, is the motivation to put it all together.

So, this is my promise to myself. Everything I am involved with is going to get more quality time in November. This means more blogging, video production and live streams.

Part of this driving force that is inspiring me this month is because it’s vastly important for my kids to be proud of me. I’ll never know if Keefer ever was, but I need the others to look upon me with pride.

And right now, I’m not really sure if they are. Sure, I’m successful as a freelance writer and have done some wondrous things for GreenGeeks. But my personal projects are all severely lacking.

It’s time to get off my ass and do more with what I have. And that includes finishing VII on Wattpad and getting my creative juices flowing.

Finding the Strength to Continue

It’s hard to find the strength to move forward after losing a child. I feel like I failed him in some way, and that feeling will never go away. But I need to push forward for the sake of the rest of my children.

I can admit it…I’m a broken individual. I’m shattered in ways most people will probably never really grasp. But it’s up to me to put the pieces back together and make more out of myself and my career choices.

One of my favorite sayings is, “This, above all, to thine own self be true.” I take it to mean, “put faith in yourself above all.” I know that’s probably not Shakespear’s intention, but it’s how I take it.

And it’s sad when so many others have more faith in my abilities than I do.

Now, I know I’m not going to change overnight. Confidence is something you develop over time. But the first step is realizing your potential and doing something with the abilities you’ve learned and accumulated.

Of course, none of that will matter unless you put in the effort to do so.

Success isn’t going to merely fall into your lap and wiggle. True success is earned through the amount of effort you put in. This means the effort to learn and grow as well as developing content.

So, I will muster up all the strength I have left and try to make more out of this month than I have this year. And given my paltry performance in 2019, that won’t be too difficult.

Let’s Cross Our Fingers…and Toes

I know I have a long road ahead of me. But as long as I can see the path, I can walk it. This means I need to avoid the darkness and focus more on the light. This way, I can avoid stumbling and falling on this path.

For instance, I could be depressed that WriterSanctuary.com had a lower CTR this last month. Or, I can focus on how my average position in Google search is higher on average than ever before.

I could be upset that the YouTube channel currently only has 333 subscribers. Or, I can focus on how my audience enjoys the content and is super supportive. I truly love my viewers…they are incredible.

So, let’s not focus on the negative aspects of life. Let’s look at what the positives include and bask in that instead.

After all, positive things happen to positive thinkers, right?